Men's
Retreat Bible Study
July
25-27, 2008
Introduction
How many of you have a relationship where there is a lack of “unity”?
You’re in a kind of relationship where you ought to be getting along with each
other but you aren’t doing too well?
At work? With a co-worker? With your boss? With an employee?
A home? With your wife? With your kids? With your parents?
At school? With friends? At church?
My assignment was to discuss the subject of “unity”. The idea comes from:
(Rom
12:16 NKJV) Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on
high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.
At first I didn’t think it would be too difficult. I knew of a couple of
verses and figured it would be a short study. I was wrong.
For one thing, everything we’ve talked about this weekend has been about
unity. The whole concept of the “one anothers” is all about unity.
Unity comes from healthy “exhortation”.
There is no better “unity” than when we worship together.
Having relationships based on “truth” is what builds strong unity.
A HUGE key to unity is learning to forgive.
Love is the
glue that holds it ALL together.
1.
The right kind of unity
The most common Greek word (72x) used to translate “one another” is:
one another
– allelon (allhlwn) – one another, reciprocally, mutually
Another important word that describes Christian unity is:
fellowship
– koinonia (koinwnia) – fellowship, association, community,
communion, joint participation; intimacy
from – koinonos – a partner, associate,
companion
from – koinos – common
The root idea of “fellowship” is the idea of having something in “common”
with another person.
It’s
like meeting someone who is an Angels’ fan like you are. Here’s a picture of Angels fan Virginia Wade, 87, poses with her license plate holder
outside her Garden Grove home. If it weren’t for having the Angels in common,
you might not have anything to talk about, but when you have something in
common, you’ve got a connection, you’ve got “fellowship”.
For Christian unity, we have something special that we all have in common:
(1 John 1:1-3 NKJV) That which was from
the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we
have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life; {2}
the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you
that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us; {3} that
which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and
with His Son Jesus Christ.
John is writing to his friends in Ephesus about having “fellowship” with
them.
The
“fellowship” John is concerned about is having a common relationship with God,
with Jesus Christ.
Lesson
The best unity starts with having
God in common
I was talking the other night with Frank Lindley and he was sharing with me
how he had grown up going to church, even went to a Christian college, Biola.
But he never really “got it”. He never took the real step of making Jesus
Christ the Lord of his life. He had never actually been “born again”.
God wants you to actually come to know Him. He wants a relationship with
you. He wants you and Him to get to know each other, to talk to each other.
Do you know Him?
The best kind of unity comes when you’ve got the best things in common.
(Amos
3:3 NKJV) Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
The best kinds of relationships start when Jesus is Lord
of us both.
2. Selfish or
Selfless
Illustration
Born Again
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea
- one called Justin and the other called Christian. Prawns were constantly
being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one
day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian “I’m bored and frustrated
at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn’t have any worries about
being eaten...” As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hits
the water and lo and behold, Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian
immediately swims away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time went on (as
it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a
shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them,
Justin hardly realizing that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his
sad plight. During the next tropical storm, Justin figures that the same
lightning force could change him back into a prawn. Lightning never strikes
twice except in stories like these, but while he was thinking of being a prawn
again, a flash of
lightning strikes the water next to Justin and lo and behold, he turns back
into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swims back to
his friends and buys them all a soda. Looking around the gathering at the reef,
he looks for his old pal. “Where’s Christian?” he asked. “He’s at home,
distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark”
came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and
torture, he sets off to Christian’s house. As he opens the coral gate, the
memories come flooding back. He bangs on the door and shouts “It’s me. Justin -
your old friend. Come out and see me again”. Christian replies, “No way, man.
You’ll eat me. You’re a shark, the enemy. I will not be tricked”. Justin cries
back; “No I’m not!! ... That was the old me! ... I’ve changed! ... I’m a prawn
again Christian!”
That’s my “shellfish” joke. Oops. I was supposed to talk about being
“selfish”…
Lesson
Disunity comes from selfishness
(James 4:1-2 NKJV) Where do wars and
fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure
that war in your members? {2} You lust and do not have. You murder and covet
and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not
ask.
You see a picture of this with King Saul and his young protégé, David.
Saul was a man who had grown accustomed to the crowds
cheering him and adoring him. This was what he “lusted” for. But after David
killed Goliath, Saul didn’t get the attention he lusted for.
(1 Sam 18:6-11 NKJV) Now it had happened as they
were coming home, when David was returning from the slaughter of the
Philistine, that the women had come out of all the cities of Israel, singing
and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy, and with musical
instruments. {7} So the women sang as they danced, and said: "Saul has
slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands." {8} Then Saul was very
angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to
David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more
can he have but the kingdom?" {9} So Saul eyed David from that day
forward. {10} And it happened on the next day that the distressing spirit from
God came upon Saul, and he prophesied inside the house. So David played music
with his hand, as at other times; but there was a spear in Saul's hand. {11}
And Saul cast the spear, for he said, "I will pin David to the wall!"
But David escaped his presence twice.
Would you like hanging around a person who is always
chucking spears at you?
Saul’s lust for attention drove a wedge between he and
David.
What are the kinds of things you “lust” for that cause trouble between you
and other people?
Lesson
Unity comes from selflessness
(Phil 2:1-4 NKJV) Therefore
if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any
fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, {2} fulfill my joy by
being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. {3}
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of
mind let each esteem others better than himself. {4} Let each of you look out not
only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Illustrate
with guitar cables. Wrap a cable around my neck with both ends hanging. Get a
volunteer, do the same for him.
The loose ends of the cable represent my needs. If I get a
hold of both ends, my hands are full. If I focus on my own needs, I might be
able to deal with my own needs, but that’s all.
Grab the other guys loose cable ends with one of my hands
– this is what happens when I begin to focus on the other person’s needs
instead of just my own. I might have to let go of some of my needs, but I begin
to get “attached” or “joined” to another person. I start experiencing unity.
The best kind of unity in marriage happens when I let go
of both ends of my “needs” and get a hold of what her needs are.
Exercise
Pick a person in your life that you’d like to improve your
relationship with.
Write down their name. Can you write down five things that
the other person might list as “needs” or “desires” in their life?
How about asking them? How about asking them, “How can I
be praying for you?”
Make a commitment to pray for those things. That’s a
start. You might even be able to help meet some of those needs.
Time for a story break …
Illustration
Do you want me to stop or just slow down…
J
3. Viva la
difference!
How about these
two guys for a picture of two completely different people? Do you think they
could possibly have anything in common? Which picture is closest to being you?
(1 Cor 12:12-20 NKJV) For as the body is
one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are
one body, so also is Christ. {13} For by one Spirit we were all baptized into
one body; whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free; and have all been
made to drink into one Spirit. {14} For in fact the body is not one member but
many. {15} If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I am not of
the body," is it therefore not of the body? {16} And if the ear should
say, "Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body," is it therefore
not of the body? {17} If the whole body were an eye, where would be the
hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? {18} But now
God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. {19}
And if they were all one member, where would the body be? {20} But now indeed
there are many members, yet one body.
Unity doesn’t just involve having things in common.
Unity also requires that I appreciate the differences between myself and
others.
It’s not about being “better” than others or being “lesser” than others.
We’re just different.
Lesson
“Belonging” doesn’t depend on being
“like” another person.
When we were
teenagers, we felt like we “belonged” to a certain crowd because we acted or
dressed like them. But in the church it’s different. We belong because we have
Jesus, not because we learn to talk, act, or dress like other people.
Illustration
Philip Yancey writes,
“Without a doubt, my all-time favorite animal is the duck-billed
platypus. It appeals to my nonconformist instincts because it breaks so many
rules of biology. Consider: The platypus has a flat, rubbery bill, no teeth,
and webbed feet, like a duck. Yet it has a furry body and beaver-like tail, and
nurses its young like a mammal.
But wait—it walks with a lizard gait and lays leathery eggs like a reptile!
And the male can use venomous hind-leg spurs to strike like a snake.
The strange animal stymied scientists for years, and in fact the first
platypuses shipped back to England in 1800 were judged frauds. Europeans were
still reeling from an expensive and popular fad item: imported "genuine
mermaids," which turned out to consist of monkeys' heads stitched to the
bodies of fish from the China Sea. They were not about to fall for a bizarre
concoction of duck's bill, webbed feet, and beaver's body.
The platypus holds a certain charm precisely because it does break all the
rules. Somehow or other, it still works as an animal. I like to believe that,
in designing the platypus, God had fun stretching the limits of natural law… .
I like the platypus for another reason: its combination of so many
incompatible features in one humble animal gives me hope that we humans, too,
can break some of the rules that govern the "organisms" in which we
are involved. I am thinking particularly of the local church.
The New Testament's favorite
metaphor for the church, "the body of Christ," describes an organism, and pastors use
organism-type words in speaking of their congregation: the flock, the body, the
family of God. But churches also function as organizations; most have a formal governing structure and
involve themselves in personnel management and supervision. Even churches with
single-person staffs must supervise volunteer programs. Like it or not, every
church becomes a Christian organization. Those two words thrown together set up
an immediate tension. …
All [my] exposure to Christian
organizations [through the years] has convinced me that the church, like the
platypus, is a whole made up of contradictory parts.
Organizations, such as the army,
government, and big business, follow one set of rules. Organisms, such as
living things, families, and closely-knit small groups, follow another. The
church falls somewhere between the two and attracts criticism from both sides.
Organization people accuse it of poor management, sloppy personnel procedures,
and general inefficiency. Organism people complain when the church begins to
function as just another institution and thus loses its personal,
"family" feel.
I have concluded the tension
between organism and organization is unavoidable and even healthy. I would feel
uncomfortable within a church that tilted too far toward either model. A
healthy church combines forces normally found in polar opposition. We must
strive to be efficient and yet compassionate, unified and yet diverse,
structured and yet flexible. We must live like a platypus in a world of
mammals, reptiles, and fowl.
Philip Yancey, "The
Church as Platypus" Christianity Today magazine (July 1, 1986)
Just like the different parts of the platypus, whether it looks like we
belong or not, we do. Whether it feels like we belong or not, we do.
We need to learn to accept one another whether we like it or not.
Illustration
A few years
ago, a friend assembled a weekend work party to lay sod in his yard. The sun
was shining. He had fresh coffee and cinnamon buns. And the crew he'd called
together were all good friends. We liked each other immensely. Then Al said,
"Guys, do you realize something? This is it! This is it!" We stopped.
"Al, this is what?" "This is community." We all murmured
our assent and congratulated one another. Yes. This is it. But then I said,
"Al, this is great, but I don't think this is it. I like you all too much.
Add a person or two to this company who lacks social graces, who looks
different, who's needy, smelly, and irritating. If we truly loved a person like
that, then that would be it." Silence. Then one of guys said, "Uh,
Mark. We've accepted you, haven't we?"
We all laughed, but they granted my point.
We're always tempted to turn the church into a club. With our kind of
people. With a strict decorum designed to keep up appearances and keep out the,
shall we say, undesirables. But Jesus said it's no credit to us if we love
those who love us—our kind of people. We don't need God to love them; natural
affinities are sufficient. But you, Jesus said, are to love the least of these
and the worst of these—losers, enemies. That takes God: a supernatural
subversion of our own prejudices, and a heaven-borne infusion of God's prodigal
love. I preach that. I try to live that.
A year or so after our sod-laying party, Wanda arrived. Wanda was not our
kind of people. She was thirsty alright, for beer, port, rum, vanilla extract,
whatever. She had only one way to pay for that. I'll let you guess. But she was
desperate, and thirsty for something else. She called the church one day,
wondering if she could see a pastor, and now! Two of us met with her. She told
us her troubled story. I told her about the woman at the well whose life, like
Wanda's, wasn't going well. But she met Jesus and he offered her living water.
I explained what living water was, and asked Wanda if she'd like some. "Oh
yeah!" she said. We prayed. She confessed, repented, surrendered. Drank
deep. The other pastor said, "Now, Wanda, this Sunday will be your first
time in church. Don't feel you have to fit in right away. You can sit at the
back if you like, come late, leave early. Whatever is comfortable." Wanda
looked at him sideways. "Why would I do that?" she said. "I've
been waiting for this all my life." That Sunday, Wanda was the first to
arrive. She sat at the front, and loudly agreed with everything I said. She was
the last to leave. The next Sunday, same thing, except she brought a friend,
one of her kind of people. I preached on servanthood. My main point: if you've
tasted the love of Jesus, you'll want to serve. It was Communion Sunday. In
those days, we called our elders The Servant Leadership Team. I asked the
Servant Leaders to come and help with Communion. That day only two of our team
were in church. They straggled to the front. All Wanda heard was the word
servant. And she had been listening intently to my sermon: if you've tasted the
love of Jesus, you'll want to serve. She walked straight up to serve Communion
with the other two "servants." I flinched. Then I remembered Luke 7,
Jesus' words to Simon the Pharisee as a woman, not unlike Wanda, washed Jesus'
feet: "Do you see this woman?" Do you see her? I leaned over to Wanda
and said, "Since this is your very first time doing this, do you mind if I
help?" So Wanda and I served Communion. The best part was watching the
faces of the people I love and serve and pray for and preach to. Not one
flinched. They saw her. This is it.
Mark Buchanan, "This Is
It, " Leadership
journal (Spring 2008)
4. We need each other
(1 Cor 12:21-27 NKJV) And the eye cannot
say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the
feet, "I have no need of you." {22} No, much rather, those members of
the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. {23} And those members of the
body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and
our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, {24} but our presentable parts
have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that
part which lacks it, {25} that there should be no schism in the body, but that
the members should have the same care for one another.
We need each other. We need to have the same “care” for one another.
care – merimnao – to be
anxious; to care for, look out for (a thing)
We need to have the same “anxiety” about other people’s needs that we do
about our own.
We take care in our own bodies to give honor to “less honorable” parts by
giving them special clothes. Our “presentable” parts, the things that we allow
to be most visible, we don’t bother covering up. The point is that in our
bodies, we naturally take care to give honor to certain parts of the body that
are “feeble”.
Yet in the church we often have it backward. We often are giving special
honor to those “up front” like pastors and musicians, when they already have
all the honor they need. Perhaps we ought to be giving more honor to the more
“hidden” parts of the body, like those who clean the bathrooms, those who teach
the Sunday School classes, those who change diapers in the Nursery, those who
make the tapes, those who do the accounting and secretarial work, those who quietly
pray.
{26} And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or
if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. {27} Now you are the
body of Christ, and members individually.
Empathy – part of unity is learning to feel what other people feel.
When someone is struggling, we struggle. When someone gets a promotion, we
all shout “Hooray”!
We need each other.
Illustration
A few years ago, an old acquaintance of mine served as a police officer in
a northern native settlement in Canada. One day a rabid wolf wandered into the
aboriginal settlement. My friend eventually shot it, but not before it attacked
a young man and his grandmother in their home, making kindling out of a chair
the young man used to protect himself from his attacker.
There were about 150 sled dogs in the village—more than a match for one
sick wolf—yet the intruder was left alone to do her work. Why? My friend
explained that in order to prevent the dogs from fighting and wounding each
other, they had each been tied to wooden stakes spaced far enough apart to
prevent them from reaching any neighboring animal. Because of this, the wolf
walked freely among the dogs, killing some and badly wounding others. In
isolation they were no match for their foe, and they suffered terribly for it.
What a picture of the need for every Christian to belong to a body of
believers. Alone and isolated, Christians present themselves as much easier
prey for the schemes of the Enemy of our souls.
Awlwyn Balnave, Calgary,
Canada
We need each other.
Who are you struggling with right now? Do you need them? How do you need
them?
The blessing of
unity
(Psa
133 NKJV) Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell
together in unity! {2}
It is like the precious oil upon the head, Running down on the beard, The beard
of Aaron, Running down on the edge of his garments. {3} It is like the dew of Hermon, Descending
upon the mountains of Zion; For there the LORD commanded the blessing; Life
forevermore.
The picture of oil running over Aaron is that of the Holy Spirit on a
person’s life.
The “dew” on Hermon is a picture of refreshing.
Looking for a fresh “anointing” from God?
Looking for times of “refreshing”?
The work at unity.