Hebrews 13:4
Sunday Morning Bible Study
February 10, 2019
knew – yada– to know; to perceive; to consider
We understand
that “know” is a euphemism for “sex”, but the word used implies much more than
sex.
It’s a word
that forms the basis of a relationship with another person, a connection that
involves knowing and understanding the other person.
It’s intended
to be a part of the bigger connection between husband and wife.
Our world today
has sold us a bill of goods that tells us we ought to live together with
another person before we get married.
The truth is,
we’d be better off waiting until we make the commitment of marriage.
Last year, the New
York Post came out with an article with the title “Why Virgins May
Have Happier Marriages”
The article
quoted a survey from the Institute of Family Studies, that found 71
percent of men and 64 percent of women who married as virgins reported being
very happy.
Those reporting
multiple sexual partners were 10 to 15 percent less likely to be happy.
Marital experts
say the reason is most likely because those who choose to wait until marriage
are more “commitment oriented”.
Let me ask you
this, who would you prefer to be married to?
Someone who is more commitment oriented or less?
Justin
Bieber – recently
shared that he had a serious problem with sex.
He had become addicted to pornography.
He realized he needed to change and made a commitment to abstain from
pornography. He had been celibate for a
year before he met his now wife Hailey. Together,
they chose to abstain from sex until they got married.
I am not sure Russell
Brand is a Christian and he doesn’t seem to hold a Christian worldview, but he came to the conclusion he needed to stop doing porn.
(warning –
don’t be turned off by what he’s wearing.
Listen to what he says)
Video: Russell
Brand Talks Sex, Porn
Studies show that those who consume pornography have brains that are less connected, less active, and even smaller in some areas.
Pornography not only releases a cocktail of chemicals in your brain that make you temporarily feel good, it will “rewire” your brain, making you want to go back to it over and over again.
One of the
proteins released into your brain during sex (and porn) is called “DeltaFosB”. DeltaFosB rewires
your brain. It’s the “molecular switch
for addiction”. It creates long term cravings that causes you to want to go
back to that bad behavior over and over again. It will stick around in the brain for weeks
or months, which is why you may stop for a few days, but the craving comes
back.
Source: How Porn Changes
the Brain
Reach out and
ask for help.
Think about
coming to Sunday nights – the James Gang.
It’s a loving group of people who are learning to do the steps that lead
out of their addictions.
You can talk to
me later and I can point you to folks who have recovered from sexual addiction
and now have years of sexual sobriety.
(Matthew
19:11–12 NKJV) —11 But He said to them, “All cannot
accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s
womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs
who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is
able to accept it, let him accept it.”
(1 Corinthians 7:7 NKJV) For I wish that all men were even as
I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and
another in that.
the bed – κοίτη (koite) – a place for laying down, resting, sleeping in; the marriage bed; sexual intercourse
Some in the early church had this misconception that all sex for Christians was a bad thing. Not so.
When I became a Christian, I was in eighth grade. As I grew to understand that sexual immorality (sex outside of marriage) was wrong, I began to associate “sex” with “sin”.
That changed when I got married.
undefiled – ἀμίαντος (amiantos “not” + “stained”) – not defiled, unsoiled
Sex inside of marriage is good.
It was God’s idea. He invented it.
(1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT) Do not deprive each other of sexual
relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited
time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you
should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of
your lack of self-control.
This can be a touchy subject in a marriage and it’s not just a black-and-white issue.
The point here is this – don’t weaponize sex as some kind of way of getting back at your partner.
Some will withhold sex as a way of punishing their partner.
Others will use their perceived lack of sex as some sort of excuse for behaving badly.
A healthy sex life in a marriage should involve some sort of agreed upon compromise as to how often you have sex.
I love Jamoca Almond Fudge ice-cream.
To be honest, I love all kinds of food, and having been on a diet for the last month, there are some kinds of food that I might find myself fantasizing over more than others.
I love good musicianship.
I like all kinds of music, but I particularly like when the musician playing the music is good at his/her craft.
One of the children’s music albums we play for Ruthie every time we pick her up in our car is just a kids’ album, but I love the musicianship that was put into the album. It’s not computer-generated music, but music performed by skilled musicians.
I love my family.
Whether it’s my sister, my three sons, my daughters-in-law, or of course my granddaughter Ruthie – there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family.
I love my wife.
She’s the one I get to spend the rest of my life with. I love her smarts, the way she cares for others, her deep love for Jesus, her great beauty, and a lot of other things that I’m not going to tell you about.
Neither word is especially more godly than the other.
Phileo is used to describe God’s love for us and our love for Him.
Agapao isn’t just connected to God, but a person could even be guilty of “loving” the world (1Jo. 2:15)
(1 John 2:15 NKJV) Do not love the world or the things
in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
(John 13:35 NKJV) By this all will know that you are
My disciples, if you have love for one another.
We all need to learn to practice “agape”
Jesus loved you and I so much that He was willing to die for us.
He paid for our sins by dying on the cross.
A group of
women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their
husbands. The women were asked, “How
many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time
you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered ... “today,” a few ... “yesterday,” and some ...
“can’t remember.”
The women were
then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - “I love you,
Sweetheart”. Next the women were
instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message
they received in response to their message.
Here are some
of the replies:
Who IS this?
I don’t
understand what you mean?
Don’t beat
about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
What did you do
now?
If you don’t
tell me who this message is actually for, someone will
die.
Your mother is
coming to stay with us, isn’t she?
Video: Skit Guys – I Love My Wife
suffers long – makrothumeo – to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others; slow in avenging
This is a word that speaks of being patient with difficult people (not difficult circumstances).
When I make a choice to value another person, I need to be “patient” with their shortcomings.
We don’t choose to value the other person because we’re going to get something out of it.
We don’t use love to “manipulate” the other person into doing what we want.
Our goal in all our relationships ought to be the good of the other person.
(Philippians
2:3–4 NKJV) —3 Let nothing be
done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each
esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of
you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of
others.
thinks – λογίζομαι (logizomai) – to reckon, count, calculate
The word is an accounting term, as in writing a number down in a ledger.
Choosing to value another person means I don’t keep a record of every time they’ve hurt me.
It means I make a choice to forgive when the other person.
If I hear myself saying, “This is the fifth time this week you’ve left the toilet seat up”, then there’s a problem.
It may be that I’ve not shared how I’ve been hurt.
It may be that I’ve refused to let it go when they said they were sorry.
The movie “The Great Escape” chronicles the real-life escape of British prisoners of war from a German prison camp. One of the problems they faced was how to get rid of the dirt from the tunnel they were digging.
Video: The Great Escape – How to Get Rid of the Dirt
When you refuse to forgive others, you are a prisoner of war.
You need a way to get rid of the “dirt”, and there’s no one better at getting rid of dirt than Jesus.
We can forgive others because Jesus has forgiven us … He’s taken away our “dirt”. (Eph. 4:32)
(Ephesians 4:32 NKJV) And be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
God’s perfect ideal in marriage is the first marriage.
(Genesis 2:25 NKJV) And they were both naked, the man
and his wife, and were not ashamed.
I look at this as being completely transparent and honest with each other, and not being ashamed.
One of the hardest things in marriage is to achieve transparency with each other.
Sometimes transparency requires sharing a problem or talking about something they are struggling about with me.
When my spouse shares something difficult, but truthful with me, how do I respond?
Agape responds with joy that truth has won out.
bears – στέγω (stego) – to protect or keep by covering; to hide, conceal
I don’t think Paul is talking about dysfunction in a relationship where we just pretend that our troubles don’t exist.
I think he’s talking about recognizing another person’s faults, but loving them enough that I don’t expose them to others.
It’s one thing to pour out your heart to a trusted friend when you’re struggling in your marriage.
It’s another thing when all your friends think your spouse is a jerk because you are constantly throwing them under the bus.
Aren’t you glad that Jesus doesn’t tell everyone about all your sins?
I think this is
one reason why love “never fails” (v.8)
Agape isn’t quick to give up on the other person.
Agape gives the other person the benefit of the doubt.
Agape is aware of the problems ahead, but hopes for the
future.
On April 11, 1970, the Apollo 13 crew began its journey to be the third crew of men to walk on the moon.
On the second day of their journey, the command center back in Texas heard those words, “Houston, we have a problem”, after an oxygen tank exploded. For the next four days the world held its collective breath as the engineers on the ground and the astronauts in space worked to get back to the earth. On the last day, things didn’t look good for the astronauts as they faced reentry.
Video: Apollo 13 – It’s Been a Privilege
Flying With You
By the way … they made it.
Agape doesn’t look at your current situation as the worst that’s ever happened, but thinks it’s possible this will be our finest
hour.
Way too many relationships end when we give up on each other too quickly than persevere and work things out.